The story of John and Libby, my Grandparents

The story of John and Libby, my Grandparents

On August 18th, 1903, John A. Wills, a bachelor from a devout Methodist family married  Marie Elisabeth “Libby” Bissonnette, a young woman from a Franco-American and Roman Catholic family in St Joseph’s  Catholic Church, Cohoes, New York, USA.

The bride and groom were first generation Americans.  His parents were born in Cornwall, her parents were born in Quebec, Canada.  Though John  never converted to Catholicism,  to marry Libby he agreed to raise any child of the union as Roman Catholic.  He and Libby did so with one exception – his eldest son and namesake.

John A. Wills was disowned by his parents for the act of marrying a Catholic.  So too, was his older brother, William Henry Wills, and for the same reason.  The painful splintering of father and sons ended in estrangement and personal tragedy.  Eventually, John A. Wills descended into chronic alcoholism and died of acute alcoholic intoxication. Libby was ravaged by thyroid disease before the wide availability of thyroxine hormone.  The disease eventually killed her.

Personal tragedy has its way of seeping through generations.  For John and Libby Wills, their tragedy did not end  with their deaths.  It carried into the next generation with poverty, poor access to education and opportunity, shame, alcoholic disease, poverty and estrangement.

When I was quite young, I listened to my mother and her sister, Etta, argue about their parents the way many adult children do.  It wasn’t until I was older that I began thinking about why and how the Wills family’s story reflected part of America at the beginning of the twentieth century.  My great grandparents were working class immigrants; their children were first generation Americans.  Some immigrants had great success stories, others did not.  Some first generation Americans had great success, others did not.  Why the differences? What made success and what made tragedy?

Here is the hypothesis: my grandfather, John A Wills (1873-1937),  descended into alcoholic disease, poverty, and despair due to personal reasons – shame, weakness and the estrangement of his birth family.  Also playing a part were social economic causes, sharp class distinctions, and  discrimination.  However, religious intolerance, obstinacy in religious beliefs and lack of family support may have had a bigger role.  Then, when it looked liked things couldn’t get worse, the final breaking point, The Great Depression came bearing down upon the family.

As I write, in the third decade of the  twenty first century,  Americans are still debating race, class, social injustice, sexism, identity and religious intolerance of one kind or another.   Religious institutions were the power players that created the community norms of the 19th and early 20th century.   Through their teachings and customs, Catholic and Protestant institutions instilled children and adults parishioners with religious bias, fear of persons with different religious beliefs and religious intolerance.  It remains present with us today, most prominently in racism, sexism and LGBT discrimination.

I  hope to provide background about social issues in 19th & 20 century America such as religious bigotry and intolerance in America, social class and struggles of the immigrant working class, effects of the Great Depression, and cultural adaptation that will help put Wills Family History in context.  Additionally, I would like to explore family issues, disinheritance, health and nutrition, death and disease, personal disintegration as well as adaptation, rebirth and resiliency that family members used to coped or not cope.  It was never clear how the Wills family got through the decade (1929-1939).  The Great Depression provided the final blow; the parents died, daughters married and sons joined the CCCs, the US Army and Marines.  With one exception, Elizabeth Frances (1913-1937), the children survived.

Graves and Religious Intolerance

The two photos below capture the essence of separation and longing after death.  The husband was Protestant and the wife Catholic and they could not be buried together according to church law in Europe.

Graf met de handjes, Roermond 01
Wiki Commons https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Dqfn13

Graf met de handjes, Roermond 02Wiki Commons https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Dqfn13

The brick wall between them is obvious to anyone looking on.  The outstretch arms joining the two headstones is clear.  No words are needed.  Now, please take a look at this more modest gravestone of a husband and wife below.

headstone cemetery Wills

This is the gravestone of John A. Wills, husband, Elizabeth “Libby” Wills, his wife and their daughter Elizabeth Wills.  They were buried in 1936 and 1937 in St. Joseph’s Catholic Cemetery in Waterford, New York.  At that time, their marriage was called a “Mixed Marriage” and the Catholic pastor forbade a Protestant burial in the Catholic cemetery as was the custom.  Apparently, he relented – slightly.  If the children would pay for a brickwall to be built around their father, the pastor would allow John to be near Libby.  So during the height of the Great Depression when it was a struggle just to afford food, rent and utilities, the eight remaining Wills children paid up to build the brickwall.

You cannot see it.  It was constructed beneath the topsoil and separates the coffins of John and Libby.  It may even completely wall off John from all the other burials in St. Joseph’s.

This was state of religious tolerance in the 19th and early 20th century and difficult for anyone born in USA after 1980 to imagine.

Verified by MonsterInsights