Graves and Religious Intolerance

The two photos below capture the essence of separation and longing after death.  The husband was Protestant and the wife Catholic and they could not be buried together according to church law in Europe.

Graf met de handjes, Roermond 01
Wiki Commons https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Dqfn13

Graf met de handjes, Roermond 02Wiki Commons https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Dqfn13

The brick wall between them is obvious to anyone looking on.  The outstretch arms joining the two headstones is clear.  No words are needed.  Now, please take a look at this more modest gravestone of a husband and wife below.

headstone cemetery Wills

This is the gravestone of John A. Wills, husband, Elizabeth “Libby” Wills, his wife and their daughter Elizabeth Wills.  They were buried in 1936 and 1937 in St. Joseph’s Catholic Cemetery in Waterford, New York.  At that time, their marriage was called a “Mixed Marriage” and the Catholic pastor forbade a Protestant burial in the Catholic cemetery as was the custom.  Apparently, he relented – slightly.  If the children would pay for a brickwall to be built around their father, the pastor would allow John to be near Libby.  So during the height of the Great Depression when it was a struggle just to afford food, rent and utilities, the eight remaining Wills children paid up to build the brickwall.

You cannot see it.  It was constructed beneath the topsoil and separates the coffins of John and Libby.  It may even completely wall off John from all the other burials in St. Joseph’s.

This was state of religious tolerance in the 19th and early 20th century and difficult for anyone born in USA after 1980 to imagine.

Jack and Libby

Couple Portrait of John and Libby
Couple Portrait
John Albert Wills and Marie Elizabeth Bissonnette Wills

John “Jack’ Albert Wills (John A. Wills) and Marie Elizabeth ‘Libby’ Bissonnette married on 26 August 1903.  My mother told me they ‘honeymooned’ in Key West, Florida where John wanted to remain and make a living by establishing a photography studio where he would take portraits like this one.   I have no evidence of that but there is a small piece written on the back of a card indicating they were in Charleston, South Carolina for a period of time.

In 1903, marriages between a Protestant and a Catholic were rare.  They were called ‘mixed marriages’ and strongly discouraged, banned by Catholic and Protestant churches and outright opposed by parents of the couple.

That was the case for John A. Wills.  His parents JAB Wills and Anne Reed, devout Methodists, opposed the union of their son and namesake with a Roman Catholic.

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